By Jane Verity ©dementiacareinternational.com
Creating Sunshine in Everyday Tasks & Situations
Activities such as eating, showering, dressing and getting clothes washed are just some of the simple daily tasks and situations where problems can arise involving elderly people with dementia. However, these situations can actually be great opportunities to create sunshine and magic.
If we change our approach, we can turn negative experiences, where confidence and self-esteem can be undermined, into real highs for everyone involved.
Getting Things Done
When we are very busy, there is always pressure to get things done. When we don’t achieve our desired results, it creates stress for both us as supportive partners and for the people in our care.
The following simple and practical strategies ensure successful outcomes:
Help the Person to Stay in Control
The first step is to understand that people with dementia need to feel that they still have some control over what is going on in their lives. We need to be careful not to create an experience that they may interpret as us taking over because this sends the negative message that we think they can no longer manage.
Exchange Service for Service
One way of getting things done, which can boost self-esteem and help the person to maintain control, is to ask for help in another area where you know the person is quite capable.
For example: If the daily shower has become a challenge, you could ask the person to help you by picking some flowers from the garden. After giving a sincere thank you, you might say, ‘Because you have given us such beautiful flowers to enjoy, I would love to pamper you by giving you a special back scrub at shower time.’
A bit of reverse psychology can also work wonders. If getting clothes washed is an issue; one approach could be to set up a simple task, such as washing the dishes; and then say something like, ‘I’ll have to do these dishes later. I’m too tired now.’ Chances are the person will step in and start washing the dishes. Then you can exchange service for service and offer to wash the person’s clothes as a special thankyou.
In both of the above situations, the person can accept help without losing face.
Create Alliances
If we make it clear that we see the person as a partner, he or she can become our ally in achieving a desired result. By using starter phrases, such as, ‘I wonder if…’ and ‘What if..?’ we are asking for a valued opinion and, in doing so, put the person on an equal footing.
Take the situation where lively, young grandchildren are visiting. We could say, ‘What if we take the children outside?’ Or, ‘I wonder if the children would like to wear off some energy in the park?’ The person then has the opportunity to become the decision-maker – the adult in charge.
If one suggestion doesn’t go down well, simply try another using the above starter phrases.
Be Creative & Flexible
The key with all of these techniques is creativity and flexibility. What works in one situation may not be appropriate or successful in another. What is right for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else. Just keep trying, with genuine respect and love, until you find the best approach for that person.