by Jane Verity ©dementiacareinternational.com
When a person with dementia ‘takes’ other people’s belongings they may firmly believe the items are their own. If you encounter this situation, it is important to remember that the person with dementia is not stealing. Accusing them of stealing is likely to result in an irritated, angry, or even aggressive reaction.
When the social inhibitions that normally regulate responses lift in people with dementia, learned rules and beliefs about what is socially acceptable disappear. When the person with dementia is attracted to an object they will instantly pick it up, put it on or keep it believing it is theirs.
When a person with dementia experiences that their identity and role in life is lost, they compensate for those losses by looking to the external world. They may be attracted to jewellery, shiny, glittering objects, or clothes that are either colourful, familiar or have a special smell. The possibilities are endless because each person will have their own unique, individual preference. Their ‘treasures’ help them feel complete.
Spark of Life Solutions
Go with the Flow!
Ensure that everyone has a relaxed and respectful attitude towards the person acquiring objects from other people. When you accept this behaviour, you are likely to go with the flow of the experience rather than judge and reprimand or try to take the item away from the person. This kind of response will only result in creating anger and challenging behaviour.
Remember, you cannot change the behaviour of a person with dementia; you can only change your own attitude towards that behaviour.
Forewarned is Forearmed
When a resident moves into their new home in a facility, encourage family members to label every single item of the resident’s belongings. Even the smallest trinket needs identification as these are at the top of the list of attractive items.
Gently explain that people with dementia may become attracted to the belongings of other residents and often bring these items into their own room. Explain that their relative may one day also display this behaviour. Labelling every item will enable the return of each object to its rightful owner.
Treasure Troves
Set aside a special area – it might be a corner of a room, table, chair, or a large basket – and fill it with objects and items that will appeal to the person with dementia. You can go to the opportunity shop and set up a tremendously abundant treasure trove with very little money. People with dementia can then freely choose any object that is attractive to them.
You can amplify the experience in a positive way and comment on their find. ‘Wow, what a magnificent item. Was that a present from someone?’ This interaction will allow the person to express their free flowing creativity. Remember that whatever they say is right!
Every interaction with the person who has dementia is an opportunity to make that person feel special, to boost their self-esteem and lift their spirit. Each carer holds the power to success or failure in dealing with challenging behaviour and is responsible for making every situation a positive experience. Exceptional attitude is the secret to successfully engaging with people who have dementia.