By Jane Verity ©dementiacareinternational.com
Here is a great, practical solution for solving what can be a very familiar challenge – when residents ‘take’ other residents’ belongings, firmly believing the items are their own. Like everything we consider challenging, the following solution demonstrates that it is possible to solve behaviours in constructive ways.
Firstly, it is important to keep in mind that the person with dementia is not “stealing” – unfortunately, this misconception is still firmly held by many. We need to know and understand that taking another’s belongings is a sign of great insecurity in the person with dementia.
When the person begins to feel that their identity is changing through other people’s perceptions and attitudes, they make up for the change through different actions. This may be when we experience the person becoming attracted to jewellery, keys, coins, shiny, glittering objects (symbols of worth); clothes that are either colourful, familiar or have a special smell; books, magazines or tools that can be manipulated; or perhaps dolls, seashells, etc. The list is huge and may include almost anything because a uniquely, individual choice is usually being expressed.
If people with dementia see objects that appeal to them, they may simply pick them up and put them in their pockets, handbags, rooms, drawers or other special hiding places. The objects help them feel complete.
It is essential to know here that the items are taken with the firm conviction that they belong to the person. Remember, once inhibitions lift in people with dementia, there are no ‘buttons’ you can press to make them feel shame, embarrassment or guilt. If you have ever tried to pull someone up or accuse them of stealing, you will know that it doesn’t work. The accusation backfires on you; and the person is very likely to become irritated, angry or even aggressive.
So here is the solution. Go with the flow. Make a special area that is visible to the person with dementia – it might be a corner of a room, a special table, a chair, a large basket – and fill it with objects and items which appeal to people with dementia. You can go to the op shop and – with very little money – set up a tremendously abundant treasure trove. You could also ask anyone connected with your facility to contribute some treasures.
The wonderful thing is that once you have created a treasure trove, the person with dementia may freely pick any object/s they are attracted to and take them. You could even amplify the experience in a positive way and comment on their find…“Wow, what a magnificent… Was that a present from someone?”
This interaction will allow the person to express their free flowing creativity. Remember that whatever they say is right!
You will now have a special place to which you can direct the person with excitement and ease.